Nik


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Friday, January 11, 2013 @ 10:48 AM PERMALINK

Ever since the Dehli bus incident, rape and what has been called 'rape culture' has been widely discussed.

For the past 2 weeks, I've watched countless commentaries and poured over many articles talking about how cultures view rape and rape victims.

It has taken me this long to type this up because to be completely honest, these few weeks have revealed to me that even my mindset needs to be changed.

The other day I heard someone say: 'Well, what do you expect? It is India.' 

It would not be inaccurate to describe India as a place that has a long way to go when it comes to protecting their women. It would however, be a mistake to assume that other countries don't perpetuate and encourage similar mindsets when it comes to rape - even our own.

For example, while we all balked at the FB commentary between two of our own Singaporean university students who suggested that it was okay to rape European women because they were 'easy'  how many of you (honestly now) have read about a rape case in our papers and thought to yourself 'Actually she had a part to play too because she was totally and completely slooshed' or 'With what she was wearing, it was just a matter of time' or 'It is her fault too for walking through that way?'

While I'm not proud of it, I know I have and I know people around me have as well.
This my friends is what we call victim blaming.

As I first explored this subject, it wasn't easy for me to see where this mindset was flawed. Are you not just asking to be attacked if you dress scantily and get drunk at clubs? I mean, men are bound to want some of that.

Then it hit me. 'Men are bound to want some of that...'

The problem with victim shaming is that it reinforces the stereotype that men are so driven by their urges that they would violently attack a women and that it is somewhat acceptable.

Each time we make an excuse for a rape, we send a message to men that they are judged less because of their biological makeup. We are sending the message that we are willing to make excuses for them simply because they can't control their urges.

Now, before you males (if any of you are reading this) get testy about what appears to be me lumping you all into the same category as rapists, let me continue...

Another reason why this habit of victim blaming is dangerous is because while many of us think so, rape isn't just about sex. Yes, the result is sex but the motivations for it isn't commonly sex. It is the power it provides an attacker. Rape is more about power about anything. It is about taking away someone's dignity and making them act against their will in one of the most degrading ways possible.

People who like sex (to a reasonable degree) and rapists ARE NOT THE SAME and victim blaming makes it seem like they are.

Victim blaming as harmless as it seems at first does and is playing a role in the rape culture that has permated our society. While we continue to fuel the idea that rape victims sometimes 'deserve' to be raped, rapists will continue to use these excuses to justify rape - after all, even females think so right? This contributes to the cycle of men thinking that rape isn't a big deal because there are instances where they would be not judged harshly at all.

All rapists should be judged harshly because of how deplorable their actions are. We are losing the focus when we insist that victims should share some blame when they get raped. What we really should be doing is sending the message that rape is NEVER okay.

Now to be completely balanced about this, it has also been proven that rapists (some, not all) are sometimes driven by mental urges that they themselves can not control. It is a mental issue that I can not even begin to explain. Even so, surrounded by a society that thinks rape is sometimes okay, must not be helpful at all in convincing themselves that they need to seek professional help.

I still have a long way to go in understanding how truly deep this problem is. I still find that (for some reason) victim blaming has been ingrained in me. I'm not even sure where it came from but I am set on changing it and I hope some of you will be too.

**While this article is mainly focused on the rape victim being female, I'd like to point out that victim blaming when the victim is male is just as real and is possibly even less talked about. This issue however is something I know even less about and I don't feel like I should be talking about it right now** 

Off the top of my head I've included a couple of links about victim blaming. They probably have a clearer insight than me so please do read/watch.

Saying 'No' to seemingly harmless sexist views - AWARE Singapore
A Thought Catalogue Writer's take on Jenna Marbles, Victim Blaming and Slut Shaming
How Slut Shaming Becomes Victim Blaming - Video by : Chescaleigh
Rape has a purpose - by Huffingtonpost writer Soraya Chemaly

Labels: Insights

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